10 PRINT “Hello World!”
20 GOTO 10
END
There, that looks all snazzy and….OH, hi! Didn’t see you sitting there. Have you been there the whole time?
Welcome to my spiffy blog (or should I go with neato?)! I am Delayed Fuse and have decided to start this as a way of getting things out of my head, off of my chest, and into the ether. Part of me hopes that it will reach someone who enjoys and comes back for more, so I’ll likely keep trying until that happens. I’m new at this and am pretty far from being in the running for Nobel laureate so I preemptively apologize if this ends up all over the place, but will do my best to make it at least somewhat entertaining. This is more than likely going to end up as ramblings that I try and form into readable sentences. Hence the name of this first post. Welcome to my rollercoaster.
I’m an avid overthinker, Type C personality, which I just recently found out was a thing. I’m an introvert who doesn’t prefer to do much talking, more observing and people-watching. I keep to myself for the most part, but will engage in conversation if someone starts talking to me. I’m a man who much prefers to say what needs to be said in as few words as possible so as to not ramble. I always feel that anything more than a few words is considered me blathering on, so I’m causing the listener boredom. Maybe that’s me projecting my feelings onto others, but we can save that for later posts.
To go along with my generally quiet nature is my sense of humor, which people have likened to that of an 8-yr-old boy. Farts, falls, burps, jokes, all hilarious to me. The family loves to remind me that I act like a kid, which does help in melting some of my internal tension and stress. Their smiles are everything.
Biggest problem I have is that I often react or give thought to things long after they’ve been mentioned, which is how I came up with my name, Delayed Fuse. There are typically so many things in my head at any given time that I feel I have to finish thinking about one of those things before anything new can be introduced. It’s the wild, wild West meets the circus up there, to say the least. Along with the delayed thinking often comes the delayed emotions. I tend to hide a majority of my emotions, typically anything outside of happiness and anger as those get expressed pretty swiftly. Problem with that (yeah, I know you guessed it already) is that stuff gets bottled up and, at some point, I explode at the wrong time and end up feeling guilty afterwards for several days. Seeing the rollercoaster ride start to form yet? Ah, here comes your car now. Time to buckle in and enjoy the scenery that is the inside of my head!
I’m a family man, so hopefully you can see where the emotional priorities end up being. Wife, kids, dog, house, the works. And I worry about all of it. All the time.
Am I doing enough for everyone? Never feels like it.
Is there enough money to do certain things? Never feels like it.
Are we actually going to make it to payday without the dreaded alerts from the bank about overdrafts? Never feels like it.
Am I doing my job well enough? Never feels like it.
Just about every shred of that worry gets buried and maintained within. I constantly work to make sure their needs and worries are above my own. I’ll bury my issues as far down as I can get them so I can summon the strength to make my family smile/giggle/laugh so they never feel down. Not the healthiest approach, I’m aware. Hence the spawn of my writings online. I’m planning to use this writing to share my points of view, maybe some feelings. Maybe someone out there needs to discover that they’re not alone in feeling how they do. Maybe I can make someone smile, smirk, chuckle, or even giggle. Maybe I’m completely delusional. Guess we’ll see.
If you’ve read this far, you haven’t unbuckled your seatbelt and run for the hills….yet. For that, I’m already grateful.
Thanks for reading and coming along for the ride!
Delayed Fuse
Delayed Fuse 